


The Cullen/Itylra Collection

by ShadowHachia



Series: The Cullen/Itylra Collection [1]
Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M, but main focus is cullen/lavellan, look at notes/summary for more info, other characters are in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-12
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-01 06:42:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12699486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShadowHachia/pseuds/ShadowHachia
Summary: Just a collection of written works I've done for a friend. Most of them are written with Itylra/Cullen in mind some are just written works with just Itylra in mind. None of the written works intertwine, unless there's a "part #" on the title. They're good on their own in my opinion and I wanted to share them on here! Like I mentioned in the tags as well, there's lots of there characters mentioned and if I made a tag for all of them, then I'd be here for a while. So I figured I'd short hand it!Anyways, thank you for taking an interest and I hope you enjoy!





	1. Daily Struggles

Itylra was feeling really giggly, though the reason wasn't a who and more of a what. She had been working on which Dalish clans to reach out to next for support or trade. Both were necessary but more importantly, having the support of some of the Dalish were important. The hunters from the individual clans could rival that of any archery unit across Thedas... well as far as Itylra knew. However, the harder she searched to try and find the clans, the more stressing it was to figure which might be more for the Inquisition's cause. Most of them were happy that an elf, let alone a Dalish, was in fact leading the Inquisition forces. However, she knew it was a farce for those that weren't bought on the idea that Siona was really in charge. As she was crumpling paper and throwing them around the room to vent her frustrations, Varric appeared. A few minutes later, they agreed to relax by playing a few games of Wicked Grace.

So they went to The Herald's Rest for some drinks and started their game. It slowly started as friendly match, just betting pieces of copper, then it evolved into an actual game. However, they quit betting money halfway through and, well Varric really, decided to up the ante. So for every loss, you had to drink. About a few hours later, they were pretty buzzed and not so interested in their game. Itylra and Varric ended up forgetting about their card game and started to look around the tavern. Finding something to keep them interested as they got another round of drinks. Soon, the two started to make up amusing stories about whoever was around them. Well Varric did, Itylra as giggling about it.

"That one's from Orlais and I bet you he's also apart of the Empress' court." Varric said. Itylra looked at the man the dwarf was pointing at. He must've been a new addition to the Inquisition. Well so she thought with how he was looking at everyone like they were nuts that everything around him look so natural or normal. She could imagine what he must've been thinking as he stared at the "uncouth" and "miscreants" around him as he sipped on some rare wine.

"With that look on his face, I bet." She giggled. She squinted her eyes to see who else was around them. She saw The Iron Bull talking to one of the waitresses that worked at The Herald's Rest. She got an idea about something goofy and nudged Varric, nodding towards Bull.

"What'dya think they're talking about?" She asked. He seemed to catch her drift and was quiet for a moment, waiting for Bull to start speaking. She got an idea to start the conversation though as the waitress was talking.

"Are you THE Iron Bull?" Itylra said, raising the pitch of her voice to imitate the waitress. Varric almost spit out his ale as she spoke. He covered his mouth as he swallowed and continued to laugh at Itylra's response.

"You know me?!" Varric replied, his voice deep and trying to meet Bull's voice. "And you know how to say my name right too! That's amazing!"

"Oh, I'm just a red headed scullery maid, I'm not that amazing."

"Red headed you say?"

The two continued to keep the conversation going, making up weird replies as they went. They were pretty proud and laughing like a couple of hyenas as the conversation dragged on; receiving the odd stare from the people around them. Eventually, Bull left the girl alone to finish her work and they were bored again. They managed to find a way to entertain themselves a second later as they continued their game with other patrons around the tavern. However, that was also short lived and they decided to leave, wanting to find something else to do. So they walked around Skyhold, making drunken remarks about some of the inanimate objects around them.

"I swear, that statue of that weird dog thing is staring at me." Itylra said.

"No, it's a raven." Varric said. "Because it looks like those dumb things from Kirkwall."

"I'm pretty sure it's a dog, Varric." She replied. Itylra looked up at the sky to see that it was getting pretty late. It was dark and the stars were starting to come out but she could've sworn that the sun was just up. She turned on her heels to face the dwarf, holding her arms out to balance herself from the sudden movement as she staggered for a moment.

"Uh, I gotta get going." She said to Varric. "There's a thing I need to do tomorrow and I don't want to oversleep and be late."

"Oh you can spend some time with a friend." Varric said, nudging her.

Itylra wasn't sure, but there was something with how he spoke that made her worry. Now that she thought about it, she vaguely remembered him looking really troubled about something when he came to visit her. She was pretty sure it was the alcohol getting to her though, but he did sound slightly disappointed in his reply or at least something along those lines. Though the more she thought about it, the more she felt like she should stay up a little longer. At least just until Varric starts to feel a little better at least? She nudged him back with a smile.

"Well, did you have something in mind to do?" She asked.

"Aside from getting drunk and winning at Wicked Grace?" He chuckled. "No I don't. But we can think of something!"

"As long as there's another drink, I'm game." She said.

The two wandered towards the kitchen, trying to find something to drink. It wasn't too late at night, like Itylra noted earlier, but it was starting to get darker. Though she had a feeling their night was just beginning, especially after he pulled out a couple of bottles of some fancy looking Orlesian wine. At least it wasn't anything like the questionable bottles that the dwarves had created. She had an idea that those wouldn't have been as pleasing or soothing from the stories she heard about it. Then again whatever was put into the Grey Warden bottles Siona picked up recently sounded just as fishy. Some of the drinks sounded rather questionable than interesting. She made a note to try and ask Siona why she picked up those random bottles for later... assuming she could remember it.

Varric then led her through Skyhold. They walked through the hallways, which were empty save for the occasional soldier here and there. They wound up in one of the empty towers on the wall around the fortress and climbed all the way to the top before uncorking their bottles. Itylra took a drink from the bottle she had. The taste was a little fruity but it was nice. It was even better as it quenched the apparent thirst that had been building up in her throat. She sighed in relief, taking another swig of her drink before looking over at Varric. He seemed more solemn than before as he drank and looked at the sky with a slightly sorrowful look.

"What's wrong?" She asked. "You've been kinda preoccupied." Varric sighed, looking down at the ground.

"I don't know if that's the right word." He said. "I got a letter from a friend and then she just showed up before I could even do anything. I'm not mad about that but it's just that she appears when she wants sometimes and when that happens, I don't know what to know."

"Was it that hooded dwarf I saw earlier?" She asked. "I remember seeing someone walking around trying to find something. She looked like someone in the Carta."

"She could probably give the Carta a run for their money to be honest." He chuckled. "And yeah that was her." He paused for a moment, trying to determine what else he wanted to say. "Her name is Bianca and that's all I can say really. Technically we're not supposed to be within some odd distance with one another but sometimes it just happens."

"Why was she here? You aren't in trouble are you?" Itylra replied, sitting up a little.

"No I'm not, but she's upset with me and I guess I deserve it a bit." Varric replied. "We've been talking to each other for a long time but I haven't told her about what I was up to since what happened in Kirkwall."

"Well she sounds like she's worried." She said. "I'd be too if I hadn't heard from you."

"Now you're gonna make me blush." He said, shrugging off her compliment. "But really, I know she's worried but I'm afraid of something happening when it shouldn't. Sometimes whenever she's here, something always happens and I'm not sure what to do when it gets out of hand."

"Is it out of hand now?" She asked.

"That's what I'm worried about." He sighed. "Like I said, we haven't talked in a while. So I don't know what she's up to or has been up to. She came by to tell me about red lyrium being smuggled somewhere by some sodding idiot."

Itlyra was silent as Varric groaned about his worries to himself. She took another drink as the silence continued, not sure exactly what to say to him. She knew he was troubled about this and she was trying to think of something to say in response but nothing came to mind. It could've been that she was tired or that it was late or maybe the alcohol, but she couldn't think of anything to say to him. The lack of thinking of something useful to say was bugging her a bit as time passed on. The silence was becoming silently unbearable but that's when Varric sighed again and chuckled dryly.

"Anyways, it's nothing I can't deal with." He said. "You don't have to worry about little old me."

"You saying that is making me worry." She said. "So what're you going to do?"

"Well, Tiger said she was interested in helping me out but I can't help but think something's up." Varric said.

"Well count me in, I gotta make sure you get through this." Itylra said, raising her bottle of wine up.

"How can I say no to that?" He chuckled again. "Though, I don't want to seem like I'm forcing you into it."

"Just accept the help, Varric." She said.

"So what about you and Curly?" He asked, taking a drink and wanting to change the subject.

"What about me and Cullen?" Itylra replied, having an idea of where he was going with this.

"You two seem to be getting close is all." He said.

"Like you and Cassandra?" She teased.

"Like that would ever happen." Varric groaned. "I can't seem to ever escape her no matter what I do."

"Which kind of begs the question." She giggled. The two continued to joke around with each other for a while longer. Eventually they turned in for the night to get ready for the next day's adventures.

Itylra was asleep in her room. Sleeping soundly and contently as the sunshine slipped through her window and onto the stone floor. She was hidden under her covers, trying to keep warm from the cold air outside her room. She tossed around in her bed for a moment before laying still once more. Phyrra, Itylra's fennec companion, was asleep on her pillow. Curled into a ball of fur as she slept.

There was a knock on Itylra's door. It was loud and demanding, which made Phyrra jolt up. The fennec's ears stood at attention as the knocking continued. Her fur bristled and she jumped down onto the ground. Itylra, however, was still asleep. It wasn't until about the tenth attempt that she woke up. Her eyes opened to see a blurry world. She rubbed them and yawn, stretching as she tried to wake herself up. The knocking continued and she could hear Cullen calling her name through the door -- sounding rather unamused. So she got up and stumbled towards the door.

"What?" She yawned as she opened her door. She continued to rub her eyes, expecting to hear whatever Cullen had to tell her. Instead, he was silent and she looked up to see him looking flustered.

"I... uh... that report you had to do... um..." Cullen stammered.

"Oh the one with the trade or getting help from the Dalish?" She asked, starting to feel her head ache from the night before. Exactly how much did she drink anyways? Though why was Cullen acting weird? All these questions and it was too early think about the answers for any of them. She held onto her head for a moment, trying to soothe the hangover she was feeling. "I'm almost done with them. I'll finish writing them up after I wake up."

"Sounds good." He nodded. "Um... I..." He paused and shook his head. "It's nothing, I'll see your report when you're finished. Take whatever time you need to get it done."

Cullen turned around and left in a hurry. Itylra raised an eyebrow but closed the door and went to get ready for the day. She looked in the mirror above the dresser in her room before she got started though. Her red, curly hair was in its usual knots and looked like a mess but she wasn't looking at that but paying more attention to how tired she looked. She sighed, getting tired of the useless everyday battle between her and the mirror and left to get dressed.


	2. Elvish

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Inquisition had been getting more and more popular as of late. Not that Itylra minded or cared, as long as Siona wasn't getting them into trouble. Though Lady Montilyet wanted to make a few roads secure for trade and some of their allies. It wasn't too much of a task or anything. Itylra offered to go and help, wanting to get out of Skyhold for a while -- feeling a little stir crazy. So, here she was. Some distance near Crestwood with Sera, Dorian, and Solas.

A doe bit at the grass under her hooves. Ears alert for any noise and muscles slightly tensed, ready to bolt at a moment's notice. However, her guard was lowered as she continued to eat. The birds and other forest creatures going about their day. The creature becoming more and more enraptured with filling her own belly as it slowly moved across the field. A couple of fawns were near her and, Itylra guessed that the mother was going to defend them if she tried anything. She saw a few bucks and does nearing the three as they ate. She gripped her bow in her hand and reached for an arrow in her quiver. She quickly notched it in place and waited a moment.

Several minutes passed before Itylra raised her bow and drew back the string. The deer looked too at ease to notice she was there, the wind was blowing in her direction, which made it easier for her. The slight breeze wasn't going to blow her cover nor would she have to comprise herself if something happened. She was safe behind the tree and bushes she had hidden behind. Her arrow was aimed at one of the bucks closest to her. She just had to get one but the challenge to get maybe a couple more did spring up in her mind. She hadn't moved since she got to the clearing the deer were at. It'd been about an hour or so already. She had hunted a few rabbits earlier and that was enough for food at the moment. Having a buck though, would be even better. 

"Vir Adahlen." She muttered under her breath as she repositioned her leg slightly. She'd been crouched next to a tree since she arrived, trying to keep a low profile to any animals nearby. So when she drew her bow, she was kneeling -- her back straight and arms the same. "Andruil lasa ghilan." She let the arrow loose from her hand and notched another only to let it fly towards the buck she was aiming at. It fell over as it started to run and the other deer bolted from it.

Itylra put her bow away and ran over to collect her prize. She reclaimed her arrows and made sure the creature was dead before she said a few more prayers in Elvish. She whistled and a moment later her horse trotted towards her. She calmed it down before grabbing a few ropes she had on the saddle. With a lot of effort, she managed to push the dead buck onto the horse's saddle some time later. She tied it down, to make sure the body wouldn't slide off -- and was panting out of breath as she did so. She grabbed a water skin from her belt and took a drink before putting it away. She grabbed the horse's reins and started towards camp. This had been a very productive morning indeed.

She traveled through the forest some bit, retracing her steps and remembering the memorable landmarks around her. Being in Ferelden wasn't that bad, but everything looked so dull and grey, even in a forest. Itylra wasn't really sure how that was possible really. Her horse nickered a bit as they continued but it wasn't anything she had to worry about. For about several more minutes, she continued to walk only to feel a sense of relief after finding one of Dorian's wards on a tree. She was getting closer to camp with each tree she saw with wards. Solas placed a few too, not that they really had to worry, but seeing as the demons weren't completely gone yet the mages figured better safe than sorry. Sera placed a few "wards" too but only because they had. They were really just signs with the words "GO AWAY!" written on them. Itylra saw one under one of Solas' wards and shook her head at how sloppy the words looked.

The Inquisition had been getting more and more popular as of late. Not that Itylra minded or cared, as long as Siona wasn't getting them into trouble. Though Lady Montilyet wanted to make a few roads secure for trade and some of their allies. It wasn't too much of a task or anything. Itylra offered to go and help, wanting to get out of Skyhold for a while -- feeling a little stir crazy. So, here she was. Some distance near Crestwood with Sera, Dorian, and Solas. There were numerous Inquisition troops near them as well, though they were more spread out than Sera claims. A couple of scouts were with them though, to guard them or something. However, between the four of them, Itylra figured the guards needed more guarding than they actually did.

She walked into the camp they made. The Inquisition scouts helping her get the buck and rabbits she hunted all situated before taking her horse to join the others nearby. Itylra saw there was a fire going but followed the scouts to try and help prepare everything to be used either for food or in some other manner. The sun was out, in more force than when she had left. It was trying to climb high into the sky at the moment, whereas earlier that morning, it was just rising into the sky. She looked around the camp as she filled the scouts, seeing Dorian's and Sera's tents still closed. She could see Solas from the corner of her eye but didn't bother looking to see what he was up to. She asked the scouts if they could help her skin the deer and the rabbits but they looked rather nervous about something.

"What?" She asked.

"Well, we got a message from one of the groups nearby." One said. 

"So it's not about the deer?" Itylra said, feeling that they were probably making up an excuse to not help her. She didn't mind, skinning deer and trying to hack at it took a long time anyways. She just assumed maybe they could've helped make the work less tasking a bit. Though she also assumed that they hadn't skinned an animal in their lives either. "Listen, I know it's weird and disgusting but you can get past that."

"Well it's not that, ma'am." The other said.

"The Commander said he was on his way to visit some lord." Solas said, trying to be helpful to the scouts. Itylra could feel her patience dropping at a slightly alarming rate. "The message says that he'll be arriving here to see how we're doing."

"Well thanks for that." She said. "If you don't mind, I'm going to be busy for most of the day. I'll get the rabbits done first."

Itylra went to work. She skinned the rabbits she had gotten earlier and kept herself preoccupied with thinking of how she'd reuse the fur or the bones and so on. One of the scouts checked up on her as soon as Dorian and Sera were up -- she could hear Sera going on about something in her usual loud manner. Itylra handed over the rabbits before getting to work on the deer. The morning turned to afternoon by the time Itylra realized how hungry she was. Luckily, she felt someone bump into her as she was surprised to see Dorian.

"Hey." She said as she wiped sweat from her forehead.

"Hey." He said and nodded to the deer's corpse in front of her. "I see you made a new friend."

"Yeah well, if those shems had agreed to help me earlier, I'd be more than half way done right now." She sighed, putting the knife she had in her hand down and moving away from the deer. The deer was set up on a tree branch outside of the camp. Itylra didn't want to gross out the scouts or anyone else she was with and the isolation was more calming than anything. She rarely had the time to be on her own as of late with all that was going on at least. "How were the rabbits?"

"Well they're not pork or bacon but they were fine." He said with a chuckle.

"Any leftovers?" She asked. Dorian nodded and handed her a plate with rabbit meat and some other food they had leftover from the night before. She took it and started to dig in. "It feels like forever since I ate."

"Judging by your friend, I'm sure it has been." He replied.

"It's not that bad." She replied. "If I had help, it'd be better but Solas is too holy and Sera thinks it's a waste of time."

"And I'm far too refined to be doing things like this." Dorian laughed.

"Which leaves me to do it." Itylra laughed. "Not that I mind, more time to myself and away from whatever's going on over there." She nodded towards the camp.

"You're not missing much really." He said, leaning on a tree. She laughed a little as he gave it a nasty look before deciding it was "clean enough" for him to lean on. "Sera's trying to explain what Red Jenny is for the umpteenth time while Solas is going on about the Fade or something."

"Oh, so the usual." She nodded. "I heard Cullen's coming by soon."

"Yes and the scouts are literally quivering about it." He teased. "I think they think they're in trouble or something."

"Pretty sure it's to make sure the four of us aren't in trouble." Itylra said.

"Yes, what could be more troublesome than a Tevinter mage, an elven mage, a Red Jenny, and a Dalish hunter?" He mused.

"I can't think of what could possibly go wrong with that line up." She laughed.

They continued to talk for a while longer before Dorian left Itylra to finish her business. So she continued to cut up the deer, having an easier time after she got the scouts to help her out. They were shy about it at first but after a few minutes to helping them out, they seemed more determined to help her. Meanwhile, as they were cutting away at the deer, Itylra grabbed a few of the rabbit skins and cut out any extra meat stuck to them. She made sure they were clean and ready for use and did the same with the bones and rabbit feet she collected beforehand. She put them away in another bag before checking over the deer again.

"Now we're getting somewhere." She said.

"So, what're you gonna do with it?" The first scout asked. "I mean aside from making it something to eat."

"She means the hide and whatever else, ma'am." The second added.

"Well the Dalish make a use out everything we hunt." Itylra said. "It all has a purpose. The hide could be used for a water skin or something to wear -- after it's been mended and made to be for proper use. The bones and antlers could be used for weapons and so on."

"That's really cool." The first said, looking rather giddy.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's what the Creators were thinking too when they decided that." She said with a sarcastic tone. "That everyone would think it'd be really cool to have deer bone knives." The scouts paused for a moment and looked at her. "I'm kidding. It is pretty cool."

The three continued their work as the afternoon rolled by. By the time they were wrapping everything up, trying to help Itylra pack everything they could away from their work, a few Inquisition soldiers had entered their camp. The three weren't far enough to notice but they were close enough to hear Sera making a commotion about something. Itylra nodded for the scouts to go ahead of her as she folded the deer hide into the same bag with the rabbit furs. She also had a few useful bones among them as well as the buck's antlers. She looked at the remains of the deer's carcass and grumbled. She had to clean this up before doing anything else.

All that was left really was the skeleton of the deer and parts of it that she couldn't make a use for. So she grabbed the bags she had with the hides and bones, and dragged the remnants of the deer's skeleton back with her after cutting it down. She walked into the rear of the camp, putting the remains on the outside of it and making a mental note to return to bury it later or something of the like. She then walked towards her tent, to add the bags with her things and make sure everything was where it should be. She could hear Dorian making a joke about something with the others but didn't listen intently enough to figure out what it was. She was more interested in washing the blood from her hands if anything. So she grabbed a couple of things and walked back out of her tent.

"And then, Cassandra gives me that look again!" Dorian said as those around him laughed. He, like the others, turned towards Itylra as she walked out of her tent.

"I'm going to go for a walk, I'll be back." She said.

"Don't make any friends with bears." He said in a teasing manner.

"You know that's more of Alison's gig than mine." She retorted as she walked away from them. She grabbed her bow and quiver from her horse before leaving. There was a river nearby she could clean up, so she wasn't too worried about walking on foot as it wasn't too far from them anyways. She heard heavy footfalls behind her though and looked back to see Cullen.

"Hey." She said, smiling at him.

"Hey." He replied. "How are you?"

"Been better. You?" They continued to exchange pleasantries as they walked. It wasn't too far of a walk like Itylra noted earlier. The river had a few timid visitors but they all fled before both Itylra or Cullen had arrived. She just saw the birds and squirrels sprinting away from the corners of her eyes though. She knelt down to start washing her hands and received a rather curious look from Cullen.

"That's not your's is it?" He asked.

"I was skinning a deer earlier." She explained. "I'm fine though." He nodded and waited as she finished washing up. She got to her feet and looked for something to dry her hands with but Cullen was already a step ahead of her. He handed her a dry piece of cloth.

"Ma serannas." She said as she dried her hands.

"What does that mean again?" He asked.

"Thank you." Itylra replied as she took her water skin out for another drink. She put it back on her belt and looked at Cullen. "So, are you here because you're really worried about us being in trouble or because you wanted to see how I was doing."

"More of the latter really." He replied, scratching his head.

"Well I appreciate it." She said, poking his nose as she walked by him. "So we're here, in the middle of nowhere, in Ferelden. Wanna walk around for a bit?"

"Can't stray too far." He said as he followed her.

They started to get caught up with what they've been doing since Itylra was last at Skyhold. She felt relieved that Siona was behaving, as best as she could, and that there wasn't anything major going on while they plotted where to go next. She liked hearing him talk in all honesty. It was relaxing in a sense. Though she didn't understand most of what he was talking about in terms of strategies for war or troop movement but understood how important it was. He was going on and on about his plans for Adamant Fortress, one of the Grey Warden strongholds in Orlais. She knew he was itching to test the mettle of the Inquistion's forces and might -- she was little excited about the idea herself. However, the idea of demons and the Wardens being under a spell or something was uneasy. Though she noticed he'd stopped talking and looked at him. Cullen seemed nervous about something, though she had an idea what it was.

"So, I know this is random but what did Solas call Skyhold?" Cullen asked. "Leliana was trying to find the actual wording for it and was curious for its meaning but hasn't had time to ask Solas." More Elvish, she was right. She didn't mind though. Cullen was one of the few that had an interest in her speaking more of it than anyone she'd known.

"Tarasyl'an Te'las I think..." Itylra said as she thought about it. "I think it translates to 'the place where the sky was held back' or something? I'm not sure though. I think that could've been part of the lost lore maybe."

"Can you say anything else in Elvish?" He asked and looked a little flustered when she gave him a confused look. "I haven't really had much luck with hearing it and whenever you say it, it sounds really... poetic."

"Well the language I think is based off its melodic tones I think." She said. "So it's supposed to sound that way for the most part. But aside from that, why?"

"I..." Cullen stammered his words for a few minutes. Trying to come up with a reason but not having much luck. Itylra nudged him though.

"I don't mind." She said. She started to explain what some of the simpler phrases and words were, like how to greet someone, how to say thank you, and so on. It went like this for a while until he tried to say a few of the words or phrases and she tried not to tease him for how mispronounced the words sounded. "Try this one, 'lethallen'. It's what you call friends or people around you. Like everyone at camp."

"Leth-all-en?" Cullen said, repeating himself a few times before it sounded sort of right.

"That one's not hard to remember." She said. "It's easy to say too."

"For you maybe." He replied. "Can you say something else? You don't have to teach it to me but whatever comes to mind?"

"Uh, sure." Itylra nodded and was quiet for a moment. They stopped near a tree someways from the camp and took a break. She was trying to think of something to say as they continued. Cullen was about to say something before she started to speak.  
"Elgara vallas, da'len / Melava somniar," She said, "Mala taren aravas / Ara ma'desen melar / Iras ma ghilas, da'len / Ara ma'nedan ashir / Dirthara lothlenan'as / Bal emma mala dir /Tel'enfenim, da'len / Irassal ma ghilas / Ma garas mir renan / Ara ma'athlan vhenas / Ara ma'athlan vhenas." She looked over to see Cullen bewildered by what she had said and she cleared her throat. "It's a lullaby about how children dream when they sleep but no matter how far their mind wanders, they're still at home."

"That's... really cute." He said.

"Yeah." Itylra nodded. "Everything else though is about how we're never gonna find a home or how we killed a lot of people."

"Now I can't tell if you're being serious or not." He laughed warily.

"Neither can I, really." She laughed. They continued to joke around for a moment as Dorian walked towards them. They weren't even aware that he was nearby until he cleared his throat.

"Well there you two are." Dorian said. Both Cullen and Itylra looked over at him as he walked towards them. "The scouts think there's a few demons around now that it's getting darker. They said we should probably keep an eye out."

"Right, well let's get going." Cullen said as he started back to the others. Itylra started to follow him but Dorian held her back until Cullen was out of earshot.

"So what were you two doing?" He asked.

"Just talking." She said.

"Oh I'm sure it was just that." He teased.

"Like you'd know the difference." She teased back. They continued nudging each other for a moment before joining Cullen after he called them both.


	3. Sparring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It started with returning a book, then sparring with Cullen's friend, and now there's some awkward tension. Just another day in Skyhold for Itylra.

Itylra sighed as she looked at one of the books she borrowed from Cullen. She couldn't really explain why, but the more she thought about him the harder it was to no let her mind wander. She did like his company but didn't really expect to get so flustered whenever she was around him or just thinking of him. She lightly hit her head against the book's hard cover, sighing as she thought about him once again. Well, she did finish the book he had lent her and it was time to give it back. She got up and left her room, walking towards Cullen's office. When she arrived though, it was empty.

"Guess I'll just leave it here then..." She muttered, placing the book on his desk. She was about to leave when a few soldiers ran by her. They seemed excited about something.

"Where are you going?" Itylra asked. They turned to face her, saluting quickly before giving an answer.

"The Commander is sparring with someone today, ma'am." The first soldier said, looking rather excited about the idea of Cullen fighting someone in a friendly manner.

"I think it's against that woman who can turn into a dragon." The other added, looking rather unsure of who Cullen was going against.

'So, Cullen's going against Alison?' She knew she had no reason to be jealous but there was a spark of it that she could feel as she thought about it.

The soldiers ran off to join their friends or whoever was there to enjoy the sparring match. Itylra followed after them as they left his office. Standing on the stone ramparts outside Cullen's door, she could see a crowd of soldiers in the training area near the stables from where she was. There was a large width between the soldiers and the contenders sparring though; and from what she could tell, Cullen and Alison were definitely there. They were dressed down in their civilian attires, no armor or weapons at their sides. It could've been part of the custom or just part of their former training as Templars. Either way, the point was simple and they seemed to be relying on their strength as they punched, kicked, or jabbed at each other.

Itylra walked down the steps from the ramparts, her eyes on the Commander and not really paying much attention to anything else. She could tell that he was giving it his all as sweat caked his face. She wanted to get close but she could still see him from where she was on the outskirts of the ever growing crowd. She wasn't technically near the crowd but stayed on the stone stairs, so she could see what was going on. The onlookers were quiet as they watched intently, saying "ohs" or "ahs" under their breaths with each blow, counter, or miss Alison and Cullen gave. She was also pretty sure Varric was placing bets as the match continued, it wouldn't really surprise her if he hadn't done so.

She watched as Cullen jabbed at Alison with his right arm and then how she countered it with a swift punch to his face. Many people were taken aback, Itylra was. She furrowed her eyebrows, watching as Cullen quickly regained his footing and countered back with a few punches that Alison wasn't able to duck or block. She could feel a little bit of pride well up knowing that he had done so. However it wasn't really over. Alison stepped back a few paces to seize him up. Cullen did the same, eyeing the other and trying to predict what she was about to do.

Nothing happened for a few moments before Alison just ran at him. She blocked a punch from him with her arms and grabbed his forearm with her right hand before punching at him again with her left. However, Cullen seemed ready for it as he blocked it with his free hand and head butted her. Alison stumbled back a bit, trying to regain her composure but fell back after he knocked her down with another punch. She stayed on the ground for a moment, trying to shake off the dizziness and disorientation. He was about to call it a day as she got back on her feet.

"Don't tell me you're scared of losing, Commander?" She asked in a teasing manner. Alison staggered to her feet, her hands on her knees as she plotted what to do next.

"Hardly." Cullen replied as he got ready for the next round.

Itylra had to admit she really wanted him to win. Though as she thought about that thought, she began to feel panic run through her veins. She started to ask why she wanted him to win and rationalized it was because she knew Cullen better than she did Alison. The answer was fine... for a few seconds before she started questioning if that was really the reason. She frowned, crossing her arms and looking at the ground beneath her feet, ignoring the cheers and jeers from the crowd in front of her. So if the reason wasn't because she knew Cullen better than Alison, then what else could it be? It couldn't be that she liked him. That'd be both childish and ridiculous! This was a time for war and there wasn't much time for anything else! Besides, she couldn't fall in love now. She had important things to do, like look after her people's needs and Siona and...

Her eyes drifted up back towards Cullen again. The noises, if any were made, seemed to fade into the background. All she could concentrate on was him. How determined he looked as he blocked a punch or how he his arms looked as he countered an attack. Sense was starting to fade more and more from her mind as she looked at him. Maybe she did like him? Though how would she even begin to deal with that? Feelings were weird like that and what if he didn't return the feelings she had for him? Did he even like her like she liked him? So many questions and none of them honing in on any answers. There was a loud smack that brought Itylra back to reality a bit. She saw that Alison had landed a couple of punches on Cullen and was starting to get the upper hand of the fight.

"Come on!" Alison taunted as she ducked Cullen's next punch. "Is that all you got?"

Cullen's brows just furrowed as he threw another couple of punches only for Alison to block then counter with her elbow. He grabbed her arm before it could connect to his chest. He quickly tightened his grip enough on her so he threw her over his shoulder. She quickly rebounded by landing on her feet and flipping him over her back as she rolled off his. He hit the ground with a thud, causing some of the soldiers around them to hiss or "oh" in response. Alison stepped away from him as Cullen got back onto his feet, she tried to regain her composure and wiped sweat away from her face.

Cullen staggered to his feet and steadied himself. He looked up at her with a half smile as he caught his breath. She returned it and put her hands on her hips, looking like she was boasting a little more than trying to regain herself. The intensity between them was more competitive than anything, something to expect as they were sparring. They looked like they were having more fun than paying attention to what was going on around them. Cullen stood up straight, exhaling and looking at his friend.

"You ready for another round?" He asked.

"Well since you asked." She teased, raising her arms up to get in a stance.

Cullen did the same and the two stared each other down. Seizing one another up as they tried to wait the other out for the first punch. Itylra watched, a hand covering her mouth and lower face. She thought of something else that could also be a factor in this, what if Cullen liked Alison? She heard from Varric and from Cullen that they'd been friends since they could remember, but what if it was something more than that? They certainly acted different than anyone else she knew or had seen. If that was the case, how would Itylra even be able to compete with that? Elgar'nan, Alison could turn into a dragon!

She sighed, leaning back against the stone wall behind her and lightly tapping her head against it. Well there was one way she knew how to confront that idea. Itylra turned her eyes from the clouds and sky above to Alison. If Alison did like Cullen then there was a way to prove it but it could just be her imagination... It was probably the case but still, now she had an idea however Itylra wasn't certain if she was ready for it. She's seen the way Alison has fought since she joined the Inquisition and even using her weird magic to transform into a dragon as well. But if this was a hand to hand fight, Itylra probably could stand her ground. So, mustering all the courage she could, she walked towards them. Parting the crowd of soldiers and stopping between them. Everyone was staring at her, even Cullen and Alison -- who relaxed their fighting stances to see what was going on.

"Lemme guess, Cullen's gotta run off and do some war council things now?" Alison asked, looking aloof as she crossed her arms. Itylra noticed that they were both slightly out of breath, maybe more than "slightly". Both were panting pretty evenly as if they've been running. Well they had been sparring but details.

"Oh, er, no." Itylra said. "I was wondering if I could spar against you."

"Well I don't mind, but there's a few things I have t--"

"I don't think she meant you, Cullen." Alison said, lightly punching his arm. She looked at Itylra and placed her hands on her hips. "I was just messing with him to boost the morale around here, but I don't mind another fight if you're so eager!"

"Good, we can start tomorrow then." Itylra said.

"Tomorrow? Why not now?" Alison replied. "I may be outta breath a bit, but I'm still raring to go!"

"Don't pay attention to her, you can do this later if you want to." Cullen said.

"No, it's fine." Itylra said. "What're the rules?"

"No armor, no weapons, and no cheap shots." Alison said. "It's the rules Cullen and I use whenever we've sparred in the past and they're good enough for me. Unless you want to add anything?"

"No magic?" Itylra replied.

"Those count as cheap shots." Alison nodded and turned to walk towards Terrance and a few other people. "Lemme know when you're ready to go and we'll start."

Itylra watched as Alison walked towards some of the Templars that had accompanied her prior to joining the Inquisition. They were looking rather high spirited as they handed her a canteen to drink from. She turned around and walked towards Cullen, who looked rather worried. She wasn't sure why he was concerned, though as she walked towards "her side" of the sparring ring, she could see Varric looking rather unsure as well. It wasn't an odd sight but seeing him look worried didn't really boost her confidence.

"What?" She asked, looking at them as she tugged at the belt buckle of her shoulder armor.

"You sure you wanna go against her?" Varric asked. "I mean she's not one for cheap tricks but still..."

"She definitely has more of a bite than you think she does." Blackwall added as he joined them. "Not that you couldn't take it."

"Enough." Cullen said. "If she wants to fight Alison, let her. It's not like they're going all out. If that was the case, then there'd be a reason to worry."

Itylra looked at Cullen as he spoke. There was some softness in voice, despite how harsh or careless his words sounded. Maybe he did have feelings for her? Though then again, she could be be imagining it. Either way, she tugged at the straps of her shoulder guard and the forearm one as well. Once they were off, she started to ready herself for her fight against Alison. It wasn't like she was fighting some actual bad person but the idea of it was starting to gnaw at her nerves a bit. 

"Good luck." Varric said before he turned around. "All right, Alison versus Itylra. I wanna clean fight ladies!"

"Yeah you want a lot of things, Varric." Alison retorted as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Though that's when it dawned on her, Alison didn't have that black and blue gauntlet on her left arm. There was relief but she felt like there was a slight trick to it. She looked at her for a moment, not seeing anything that looked too off or different from her usual appearance. Itylra did spot Alison's gauntlet near Terrance and the others though. Maybe she couldn't be too far away without it? A mystery for another day, for now she had to concentrate on this fight. Alison had both her fists raised, thumbs facing the sky, and held out at chest level but arms extended towards Itylra. A few seconds passed before anything was said.

"This is where with tap fists or whatever and agree to the rules that Varric laid out." Alison whispered. Itylra nodded and mimicked her quickly. She watched as Alison tapped the bottom of fists with the top of her's and then reversing the action as the top of Alison's fists hit the bottom of Itylra's. Human customs were definitely weird but again, food for thought later.

They both distanced themselves a bit before squaring off in their stances. Everyone watching with anticipation as they played the waiting game. Itylra was trying to remember what Alison had done in her fight against Cullen, trying to prepare herself for the worst and whatever else she might have up her sleeve. Though the more she looked at her, the more she realized Alison looked slightly relaxed. Maybe she wasn't going to take her seriously? That wasn't going to be inspiring but before she could delve into the thought, Varric whistled for the start of the match.

Alison charged at Itylra almost immediately after the whistle sounded. Her fists were close towards her and her eyes on Itylra. At least she didn't have to worry about Alison being a couple head heights taller than her, she was hardly intimidated by taller beings anyways. As soon as Alison got close, Itylra blocked Alison's punch and kicked her leg. Alison, who really didn't expect the kick, stumbled for a second before putting her leg behind Itylra's and grabbing her arm. In one swift motion, she managed to flip Itylra over her back and onto the ground. She turned to help her up after trying kick away the pain she felt in her shin.

"Man, that hurt!" Alison hissed. "I didn't expect that kick."

"I didn't expect to hit the ground." Itylra retorted, albeit sounding winded.

Itylra got to her feet and they both recomposed themselves, setting up at opposite sides of the ring again. She was ready for the next round and the one after it. The two sparred for a while longer, knocking each other to the ground or catching them off guard. In the end, Alison admitted to defeat because she was out of breath. Itylra, who was putting her armor back on, watched as she and her fellow Templars walked off towards The Herald's Rest to relax. She was curious to know something though and didn't pay attention to the soldiers around her before she walked off. Cullen had long since left sometime during the fight, to either rest or finish his work. Itylra, as much as she cared about him, wasn't really interested in finding out what he was up to at that moment. She walked into The Herald's Rest and looked around. She found Alison on the second floor, drinking a mug of ale as the former Templars around her did the same. She cleared her throat once she approached them.

"Can we talk?" Itylra asked. Alison raised a brow and got the idea of what she meant a second later.

"Hey, give us a minute." She said to them. They nodded in response and left the table, all shuffling down the stairs to join Bull and his Chargers in their merriment. Alison motioned at one of the empty seats across from her. "What did you want to talk about?"

Itylra sat down, trying to form her words. It wasn't that it was hard or anything, it was just that the idea sounded incredibly foolish the more she thought about it. The more she thought about it, the more nervous and slightly frustrated she became. Itylra crossed her arms, still trying to say what was on her mind. Alison, as another couple of minutes passed, eventually cleared her throat.

"Well if you're not gonna tell me anything, then I wanna mention something to you first." She said, straightening up her posture as she put her gauntlet back on her arm. She tightened the straps mindlessly as she looked at Itylra.

"First, I don't mean to offend you if it comes across that way. I'm just a concerned individual who cares." Alison started. "But I was interested in knowing your relationship with Cullen."

"With Cullen?" Itylra repeated, giving her a dumbfounded look.

"Yes." She replied. "He's been talking about you rather frequently lately and I don't mind it really but I'm just curious about your intentions with him is all. Cullen's like a brother to me, we've been through a lot since we've joined the Templars and more so in recent years. I'd never doubt his judgement but I always look out for him because he'd do the same for me. So I'm not really trying to pry but, I want to make sure there's no ill will being shown here. I know we haven't gotten to know each other and really just met but it's always been my job to make sure everything's in ship shape before doing anything. So, again, what are your intentions with Cullen?"

Her words caught Itylra off guard. Well at least her question had been answered, among other things really. So instead of her being interested in Cullen, Alison was just worried about what Itylra's relationship with Cullen was about. She hadn't expected that, though it made sense the more she thought about it. They did seem to act more like siblings or something akin to it.

"My intentions are only good with him." Itylra replied. "I'd prefer not to say anything further but, I have no intention of hurting him."

Alison was quiet for a moment. The longer the silence dragged on though, the more uncomfortable Itylra was starting to feel. She swore Alison's pale blue eyes flickered to another color for a second but it was so quick she doubted herself. But the feeling of the air between them rose more and more. She shifted in her seat uncomfortably for a moment before sighing.

"Look, I care for him." Itylra started. "I like him, though I'm not sure it's reciprocated really. I would do anything to make sure he's okay. I know humans and elves don't have the best track record bu--"

"No need to give a speech." Alison laughed, the tension easing slightly. "I'm just making sure everything's all right. I've seen a lot of people throw themselves at him without trying to get to know him. I'm not upset that you're friends with him or anything, quite the contrary. Cullen's one of my closest and oldest friends I have left. I just want to make sure everything's as it is instead of whatever it could be. I'm glad he's made some friends and is trying to move on with his life, I really am. Sorry if I came off as odd or rude."

"No, you're fine..." Itylra said and got up in her seat. She barely heard Alison's chair move as the woman darted up towards her, holding Itlyra's head close to her's. She could only see the blue fabric of Alison's tunic and some people over her shoulder. She was glad that it wasn't her left hand, the claws on the gauntlet would've made this even more weird. Something about this though, sent a chill down Itylra's spine. The air seemed thick again and time seemed to move at a slower pace.

"Not that I need to do or say anything really, but if you hurt him in any way -- shape or form -- you'll wish the Dread Wolf was real." Alison said in a whisper. It was a threat, no second guessing that. Though Itylra wondered what was worse, whether it was actually Draco who could've mentioned it -- though she doubted the idea -- or if it was Alison herself. Regardless, Alison pulled away and sat back down as soon as she spoke. She took a swig from her mug and gave her a look like whatever just happened didn't really happen.

"You okay?" She asked, raising a brow.

"Uh... yeah..." Itylra mumbled.

"You might wanna go find something to drink or eat, you look a little pale." She said.

Itylra, without really registering anything, just stumbled back into her room. She wasn't even aware she was walking or where she was until she closed her door. All that she could really think about was how threat like Alison's words were and her reaction to them almost a second later. Itylra wanted to think she could've thought that up but something made her think otherwise. Alison struck her as someone who stayed true to her word and didn't really fool around unless she intended to. Though whatever she meant by the Dread Wolf had her shivering for a moment... okay longer than that. The idea of whatever could possibly be worse than Fen Harel was uneasy.


	4. Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A storm passes through the Frostback Mountains. Though it's not as rambunctious as it is in the area outside the mountainous terrain, it still makes one person rather squeamish even with the idea.

Rain poured throughout the mountains. Why anyone would think this made sense baffled Itylra. She groaned as she curled her fingers into a fist. She had decided to write a report, to try and ignore the weather. Because usually, when it rained, thunder wasn't too far behind. She kept her hand steady as she thought about what she was writing. Her emerald eyes were watching the letters form into words with each curve she drew. She dabbed her quill into the ink bottle again and started on the next sentence. 

However her attention was slightly diverted towards the rain smacking against the closed window next to her. She put the pen down and got up to close the drapes. She then sat back down and effortlessly went back to writing. A few more minutes passed and she started cursing herself for being an elf. She could hear the rain hitting the stones outside and just gave a heavy sigh. Though a second after she shook her head, she heard it.

A deep rumble. She exhaled and continued to concentrate on her report. Itylra ignored the rain and tried to listen to the thoughts in her mind. A few more seconds passed and a loud crack echoed through the mountains. She jumped in her chair and hid under her desk. She wrapped her arms over her head and huddled her legs towards her chest as if the ceiling above her was going to break apart.

She shuddered as she counted the seconds before the next loud crack. Itylra then decided hiding under the desk was maybe a little too much. So, before the next round of lightning and thunder, she grabbed her bed sheets and dove under her bed. She wrapped herself in her blankets and closed her eyes. She rocked slightly as she wished for the storm to go away. Maybe she should have gone with the Ambassador to Val Royeaux...

Meanwhile, as Itylra hid in her room, Cullen was walking around the fortress. He wore his helmet to keep his head dry -- Maker knowing it took forever to get it the way he liked it most of the time, and the last thing he needed was it being frizzy. He could see the rain dripping from his visor as soldiers passed by him. He wondered why some of them weren't inside, waiting for the rain to let up.

He groaned as he approached the hall. Solas said something, but Cullen shrugged it off as he took out a report for the Inquisitor. He silently chastised himself for letting it get wet as he unraveled it. The ink wasn't effected but the wet edges of the paper would seep deeper into the pages. Cullen sighed and shook his head. He couldn't give these to the Inquisitor, not like they were. It'd be unprofessional! She would probably think otherwise but he wanted to seem well enough to at least make everything look decent. That and Leliana and Josephine would have a field day.

Cullen knew Itylra's room was nearby and figured he could go rewrite the letters there before handing them to the Inquisitor. It sounded like a decent plan, especially since the walk from Itylra's room to the Inquisitor's only required getting a little wet compared to the trip across the bridge towards his office. So it was settled he went back to where Solas was, as the mage continued to study whatever it was he studied, and took the stairs up towards the library. He cut across Madame Vivienne's room, luckily she was elsewhere, and sighed before walking out of the hall and into the rain. He walked past Cassandra's room, then Varric's, and stopped at Itylra's door. He knocked on the door and waited for her to appear.

The red head heard the knock and groaned. Didn't people have the decency to stay inside the damn fortress when it rained? Or to leave her be? She sighed and crawled out from under the bed. She threw her blankets on the mattress and walked towards the door. If only they could have learned more about that time magic the Venatori were interested in so she could skip every moment it rained or stormed. She put her hand on the door and exhaled.

"What do you-- AHHHH!" Itylra jumped and slammed the door shut almost as soon as she opened it.

'First a storm now a monster? What the hell are those guards doing?' She thought to herself. She shuddered as whatever it was outside her door knocked again. She slowly backed away until she crashed into her chair. She almost fell over but steadied herself quickly.

"Itylra, it's me!" Cullen said as he yelled through the door. "I'm sorry if I scared you! You can come back to the door, my helmet's off!"

'Helmet?' Itylra thought to herself for a moment.

Then it started to make some sense. She walked towards the door and opened it. However she slammed it in Cullen's face again as another loud burst of thunder blasted through the air. She dove for her bed as she grabbed her blankets again. Cullen, who was frankly slightly annoyed with Itylra slamming the door into his face, opened it to scold her about common courtesy but when he looked into her room, she was nowhere to be seen.

Her desk was covered in ink as the contents of the bottle dripped onto the stone floor, the papers on her desk were either scattered or soak in the black liquid, and her bed look like it had been torn apart. He set his helmet down on the ground and, as he leaned over to take off his boots, he saw someone underneath the bed -- shivering in blankets. He quickly took off his boots and got to the other side of the bed to see Itylra's eyes closed as she quietly rocked back and forth. Another loud rumble and he noticed how she cringed.

She was afraid of thunderstorms? Cullen could hardly believe it. Itylra is one of the strongest women he knows, nothing hardly ever makes her flinch. Not even Sera or Leliana could force a reaction out of her at times. However the distraught look on her face was making his snap back in reality. He offered his hand towards her and watched as her eyes opened slightly to look at it.

"Come on, it's only a storm." He said, trying to coax her. She shook her head and buried her face into the blankets again.

Cullen frowned a little. He could understand how hiding underneath the bed would be preferable but it's not like he could just join her. His armor might tear up the underside of the bed and he could get stuck. He got to his feet and walked back towards the door. With a groan, he started to unhinge the straps and belts that kept his armor in place after he took off his tunic; well rather let the red and gold cloth pool around his hips.

A few minutes passed before he was able to remove the breastplate, having spent time removing the armor along his arm and shoulders first. He felt a swish of coolness rush against him as he removed the stuffy thing and place it next to his helmet and the other parts of his armor. He pulled his tunic back up and slid his arms through each opening. It hung loosely against him and his undershirt; which made him feel slightly awkward. He then made his way towards the bed again and crawled under it, snuggling up next to Itylra. 

The elf, feeling Cullen pull her towards him in a weird embrace, turned her head to look at him. He looked back at her with his dark, brown eyes. She couldn't help to smile at how disheveled his hair looked. Itylra careful turned around to face him and offered as much of the blanket she could to him. Once they were settled, there was another crash and she clung onto him.

So they spent the remainder of the night laying underneath Itylra's bed, hiding from the thunderstorm and waiting for it to pass.


	5. Good-Bye & Good Luck Part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itylra watches as her clanmate simply disappears as they confronted the Magister Alexius to free the Free Mages. A year passes and the guilt of not saving Siona sinks deeper and deeper. Itylra can feel the song piercing through her thoughts and despises every moment. But she looks to someone she's grown close to as the Inquisition attempts to regroup to move the remnants of their forces. She offers to stay behind but with a heavy heart.

"Alexius, stop this now!" Siona said, the ferocity in her eyes growing with every second. 

"You know nothing, child." He retorted.

Itylra reached for her bow, drawing the string back as she notched an arrow. The strange Tevinter mage from earlier was standing next to Siona. She wasn't pleased but seeing Cassandra and Blackwall reaching for their swords eased her mind; well as much as it could. At least she wasn't the only one not liking where this was going. Before anyone could do anything, Alexius used a spell and poof! Siona was gone.

Itylra felt panic rise within her. Without a second thought, she started to fire arrows at the Magister. The arrows bounced off some invisible force field. Cassandra and Blackwall pulled her back before she could do anything else. The Inquisition soldiers and Leliana provided a distraction for them. They left to regroup in Haven.

A year nearly passed and Haven, hell half of Thedas, was in ruins. This "Elder One" had an entire demon army and the Breach looked like a grotesque eye as it hung above, looking at everything that they were doing. For the most part, Haven was intact. The place was filled with enough demons from previous assaults. The remnants of the Inquisition remained in Haven. Most were the recruits that Cassandra, Leliana, and Siona gathered. Others were just battle worn soldiers.

Itylra didn't feel much like herself anymore. After watching Siona disappear into thin air... Not even Solas could figure out how such magic was possible. She kept chastising herself as much as she could in the past year. Not that it made a difference but all the 'what ifs' kept bubbling up regardless. Right now, she and everyone else were readying themselves for another fight. Spies reported that another wave of demons were ready to attack Haven again. Though Leliana seemed like she had some sort of plan but what it was, she didn't say or hint at.

"Hey, we're meeting in the Chantry to figure out a strategy for the next wave of demons." Cassandra said as she walked by Itylra.

"Alright." Itylra nodded.

She got to her feet and followed Cassandra. Varric, Bull, and the others joined them as they made their way to the only building still standing. Itylra looked at the Chantry Sisters as they tended to the wounded -- and there were a lot of wounded. The entire building was full of villagers that were either dead or near it. She balled her hand into a fist. Itylra might not be overly fond of humans, but this was still not easy to see... or accept. The Elder One was definitely going to pay for this.

Cassandra opened the door into the old war room. Leliana, Cullen, and Josephine were waiting for them. The Inquisition soldiers, outside the room, closed the door as soon as everyone was inside. They all shifted around to find a spot or wall to lean against. Itylra stayed near the corner of the room. She liked to be able to have a view of everything but as she scanned the room, she just felt angry and sorrowful. 

There was more of them here once. She remembered seeing Alison and all the members of Drake's Nest. They planned to lead an attack on Redcliffe Castle, to stop Alexius. However, the Elder One was there and froze her and Draco with Red Lyrium. That day was rather bloody too. So many soldiers died. Before that, Catherine Crest led all her remaining Wardens and almost all of Ferelden to reclaim her home. That didn't end well either.

Orlais was in disarray because of Empress Celene's death and Grand Duke Gaspard attempted to reclaim his throne. Though no one knows what happened to him. The majority of the Wardens had aided in creating the Elder One's demon army. The entirety of Southern Thedas was nearly deatroyed. Itylra thought back to that day they were at Redcliffe; when Siona disappeared. She should have stopped Alexius. She knew something was wrong bu-

"Hey, Firebrand, are you okay?" Varric whispered to her.

"Yeah I'm fine." She nodded.

"Well Curly's giving you a concerned look." He winked. Itylra looked up at Cullen for a moment before looking back at the dwarf.

"So?" She shrugged.

"Ah whatever." He said, shaking his head. "Just pay attention to Leliana at least."

"And our only chance to escape and possibly regroup is if someone were to hold Haven with only a handful of people." Leliana said.

The room was silent. Itylra had missed most of the speech but... What if she stayed behind and let her friends escape? It's not like she really had a purpose for staying around anymore. Siona was gone and she's done nothing but vent her rage out towards demons. She also knew that they'd probably gather the rest of King Alistair's forces and attempt another attack on Redcliffe. They had to at least...

"I'll do it." Itylra blurted out. Every instinct was telling her to stop but she had to. Silence stilled the air for a few more minutes. No one saying anything but looking uncomfortable and uneasy with the idea.

"I'll just probably get in the way anyways, I can handle killing demons here." She explained. "Besides you all need to continue with Sister Leliana's plan." The silence just echoes off the walls, making every one of them more uneasy.

"Say something..." Itylra muttered. 

"Then it’s decided." Leliana said. She sounded anything but pleased as she spoke. She nodded at Cassandra and the Seeker led Itylra back outside to restock her supplies.

"Itylra..." Cassandra started.

"I'll be alright, Cassandra." Itylra interrupted. "Someone has to stay behind anyways." Cassandra looked down and then back at the elf.

"Just be careful." She said before leaving. 

Itylra spent the next hour trying to readjust her armor and trying to load whatever empty quivers she could find with arrows. She had a couple bows incase her's broke or something else happened. The entire time, she felt herself panicking and realizing that this was real. She was going to be left behind. She looked over towards the others, seeing a few of them colluding together about some sort of plan. A plan she wasn't going to be apart of.

"Hey, Firebrand." Varric said as he walked towards her.

"Hey, Varric." She replied, clearing her throat.

"Almost ready?" He asked.

"Yeah." She replied dryly.

"Hey, you don't have to do this." Varric said. "You can still get out of this if you want."

"Varric, for the past year I've been mourning the loss of someone who might've been my sister." Itylra said, looking at him. "I lost just as many friends as you have in the past year. I don't want to see anymore friends die so I'm going to do what I can to help them."

Varric's head fell as he looked at the ground. Itylra just finished adjusting the string on one of her bows. She needed something to distract herself from what was going on. This was just a nightmare after. A very real, life like, and frightening nightmare. As she pulled back on the string, it snapped against her forearm. She tried to pull it back a few more times before just starting to cry. Varric took the bow and wrapped his arms around her.

They were silent for a minute or two. Itylra wanted this to not be such a terrible nightmare. She wanted Siona to be back. Her sister dragged her into this mess so she may as well help her out. But Siona was gone. She's been gone for a while and it has done nothing but ate at her ever since. Itylra watched as Varric adjusted her bow. 

"Give 'em an extra shot, kid, on me." He smiled as he handed her the bow. Itylra nodded as she looked at his final, and rather heavy, smile.

"It's been an honor, my friend." She nodded. Her breath shaky and heavy.

"Likewise." He said before leaving. 

Itylra watched as Varric walked away to rejoin the others. None of this had to be real. She had to just distance herself from the idea of this being real or... or it could be too real. She wiped her eyes and calmed herself down again. She made her final goodbyes to the group, each one slightly more painful than the last, before rechecking her equipment. The soldiers with her did the same. She looked at them as they did so. After several minutes, she sighed as started to retighten her boot laces; trying to keep her mind busy.

"There's no time!" A man argued. Itylra couldn't register who it was, as she was trying to go through exactly the number of arrows it took to kill each demon and where it would inflict the most damage.

"This will only take a minute." The voice said again, sounding closer. There's a shadow over her. She looks up as she finished retying her other boot to see Cullen. He helped her up to her feet.

"Did you need anything?" She asked. "Or was there something I need to know?" He's quiet for a minute as he just looks at her. "Cullen?" He dismissed the soldiers closest to them, watching them leave, before looking at her again.

"Why did you volunteer?" He finally asked. His brown eyes looking at her.

"Well, aside from Varric and Sister Leliana, no one can easily one shot these demons with an arrow." She scoffed. "Besides, I'd slow you down or get someone killed. I can barely stand without Solas' magic."

"But why?" He asked again.

"Because," She said, "someone had to do it." She choked on her last few words and looked away from him.

"I..." He started and then sighed after a few seconds. "This isn't how I had imagined this to be..."

Itylra didn't say or do anything as she looked at him. Cullen had gotten the Inquisition to follow him to Redcliffe. He blames himself for the deaths of so many but those soldiers knew what they signed up for. They gave their lives at a chance to stop Alexius, to stop the demons, to stop the Elder One. They all believed in him... and in the Inquisition. They did this for her sister.

"Look, I’m about to die, so if you have something t--" Itylra stopped talking as Cullen's hands cupped her face. He pulled them together and kissed her. She felt nothing but regret and sorrow stabbing at her heart. Beads on tears roll down her cheeks and into his fingers as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him closer to her. He wiped them away after he pulled back. Not far enough for her to miss him but close enough to see nothing but him.

"I lost one friend already." He said, his voice sounded choked like her's. "I don't want to lose another." He leans his forehead against her. 

"I wish you did that sooner." She whispered. Her voice sounded shaky and scared. He simply smiled and rubbed her cheek with his thumb in a soothing manner.

"Better late than never." He grinned and kissed her again. "Good luck."

"Goodbye." She replied sadly.


	6. Good-Bye & Good Luck Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Itylra, now rotting in the depths of Redcliffe Castle, sees a familiar face.

Itylra groaned. Flashes of her fight in Haven appeared in glimpses. Demons fell to her arrows and the soldiers nearby helped. Everything was going great so far, demons and Venatori died left and right. But then they appeared quicker than they fell. She remembered seeing Venatori grabbing any survivors. The next thing she knew, she was being taken to Redcliffe. All she remembers of the outside world was the giant red lyrium statue of a dragon and a women next to it, looking like she was reflecting something. She was pushed into a cell and left on her own ever since.

This was a few weeks ago. One of the Venatori had come and checked on her wounds. Not that it didn't do anything. She was still in pain, despite the individual's 'best' to clean up the wound. Though she felt like something was off. She wasn't sure what it was but that Venatori had done something. She shrugged it off as nothing until she felt... weird. The weird feeling only grew and grew. Eventually she felt like something was eating away at her mind or rather her maybe? She wasn't sure.

Everything for the next few weeks felt surreal. An insistent humming noise just started echoing in her mind. It felt like a song and something that kind of sounded familiar too. Just listening made her drawn towards whatever that weird feeling was. A few more weeks went by and that's when she saw it. Red Lyrium. It was growing out of her leg wounds and wherever she had been wounded from her last fight. She panicked, grabbing it and crushing it with her hands but the more she tried to get rid of it, the harder it became. 

"What the hell...?" She asked herself as she threw it out of her cell for the fifth time that week.

"Hey!" A Venatori growled at her. "Leave it alone."

"And what're you going to do if I don't?" She asked. "Kill me? You need this shit."

"Stop picking at it." He said in a threatening tone before leaving. 

Itylra groaned. Her body hurt so much. She couldn't believe just how much pain she was in. The red lyrium wasn't helping, not that it should. She wished that she was with her friends, for that matter she wanted to be with her ancestors. Death had to be better than whatever this was. She missed him. She missed Cullen... Cullen. Itylra wanted to know if he was all right or even alive. He had to still be alive at least.

Though seeing how he felt about her before he left... She wondered if they could be together, if things were different of course. If this Elder One wasn't around, if Siona hadn't disappeared, if, if, if, and more ifs. Itylra could think of all the 'what if' situations she wanted to but knew that they wouldn't come true. Cullen and Siona were the only things keeping her strong at the moment. They may be dead or alive, she wasn’t sure but she knew as long as she had some hope she might get through this.

Another couple of months passed and the red lyrium seemed to just keep growing. It grow over her legs and started creeping around her torso. The pain was just felt like a numbing sensation now. It slowly gnawed at her just like that irritating song. It wasn't much at first but started to become unbearable lately. Itylra leaned her head against the stone wall of Redcliffe's dungeon. 

"I wonder what he's doing..." She murmured. Her voice had a slight echo that clung to it. 

She sighed and nodded off to sleep. She dreamt of being in Haven again. Everything wasn't broken or damaged. Everything looked exactly like it had when she and Siona had arrived. Everything looked amazing and breathtakingly beautiful. Itylra looked at the village contently as she walked around. The snow brushing past her face as it fell from the clear, blue sky and the crunch beneath her feet as she walked made her so joyful. 

"Hey!" Someone called out.

The elf looked around to see a familiar face. Cullen looked okay and alive! They embraced and she never wanted to let him go. He didn't seem to want to let her go either. Seconds went by and they just felt like eternity. He felt so warm but the warmth turned into a slightly searing pain. She opened her eyes to see him again but only saw a red crystal instead. She reached over to touch it but opened her eyes. She looked around, realizing she was in her cell. She sighed again but cringed slightly at the echo of footsteps.

She figured the Venatori wanted to comeby to try and collect more of the lyrium. However the footsteps sounded different... as if they were together. Like someone was running; well two someone's and the difference of how they ran seemed unique. One had a pair of boots or something and the other sounded like someone's bare feet were smacking against the stone. She heard a pair of voices as well; one more masculine than the other. Itylra felt her heart race. What was she going to do? No one had actually broken into the castle before... well successfully. 

The voices and footsteps sounded closer. One of the voices sounded familiar but she couldn't figure why. She heard the voice before that she knew but where? Itylra tried to think of why but kept coming up with blanks. She eventually just groaned and shook her head. She ignored the sound of footsteps running towards her. Just feeling fed up with why the feminine voice sounded familiar and fed up in general. 

"Itylra...?" A woman asked.

Itylra looked outside her cell but before she could reply, her face dropped in shock. Siona? But she was... how? Itylra saw her disappear how was she here? And why? The more she looked at her, the more she felt relieved. Siona didn't look hurt or like she had been. She looked exactly the same as she had the last time she saw her... almost a year ago. The mage next her looked familiar too though Itylra couldn't figure out why.

"Siona..." She replied. "I... I'm sorry. We... we thought you were... and you're not."

"She doesn't look or sound too good." The human next to Siona mused. Itylra wanted to say something but she felt drained.

"Just promise me something, lethallin." Itylra said as Siona knelt in front of the cell. "Stop that shem. He... Just stop him."

"I promise." Siona nodded, her expression looking sullen. "Goodbye lethallin."

"And good luck." Itylra said with a faint smile.


	7. Lyrium Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just another night in Skyhold. Where people are asleep however someone awakes from a nightmare. Itylra is awakened by Cullen's mutterings and is worried about his lyrium withdrawal.

Itylra hummed as she slept. She dreamt about running through the The Dales, the Emerald Graves. Halla and rams sprinted past her as she ran. The lush environment made her feel like she could just die of happiness. Everything looked so pretty, amazing, and breath taking. Then she felt something nudge her only to awake to Cullen turning over in his sleep.

She yawned and nestled against her pillow. As she closed her hazel eyes, she could hear some more rustling. She figured it was Phyrra trying to do something in the office below again. So she shrugged it off with a sigh. She snuggled her pillow one more time as she pulled the blankets over her shoulders. About a few minutes later, she heard moaning and looked over her shoulder to see Cullen turning his head in every which direction. 

"Hey." She said, turning around and trying to shake him awake.

The templar's brown eyes opened halfway before he flew back from Itylra and onto the floor. Itylra also jumped but only because of the rather sudden movement. She quickly rolled onto her feet and cautiously made her way to Cullen. He looked like he had had another nightmare. She made a mental note to mention it to Alison and Cassandra later but right now, he wasn't looking too good.

"Vhenan, it's me." She said, carefully walking towards him.

He just stared at her with a slightly crazed expression. He wasn't moving but was tensed up from whatever had awoken him. The elf carefully continued to move towards him. He remained still and just watched her. Eventually he came to his senses as she stood in front of him. He buried his face into his hands and felt Itylra lean into him after she sat down. She wrapped an arm around him and tried to comfort him.

"I'm sorry." He muttered. 

"It's okay." She said. Lyrium nightmares again. She knew Alison had warned her about how bad the withdrawls could get but she never imagined they'd be this bad.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked. He was silent as he leaned into her. Minutes of silence went by. Her eyes wanted desperately to close but she fought to stay awake. Though with how long he'd been quiet, maybe he was asleep...?

"Kirkwall." He said. "Just dreaming about Kirkwall and about the deaths of so many people."

Itylra knew that Kirkwall and his old post in Ferelden weren't the best of places he'd serve at. The Ferelden Circle being all but slaughtered by the rampant maleficars and abominations. Kirkwall was more or less the same but his former Knight-Commander wanted to also kill just about anything that looked at her wrong.

"I was so scared that day." He continued. "As I ran back to the Gallows, all I could think about was how 'this was it'. The mages were going to die and so would whoever stood with them. Then the First-Enchanter became... He killed all those..." His voice trailed off and all she could do was pull him closer to her.

"Then Meredith... She..." His voice trailed off again.

He had already shared the story once before, so she knew how it ended. The fact that he kept telling her suggested something else may have been bugging him. His guilt maybe? Though he didn't have much to be guilty about. From how she saw it, he did everything right. Though he should have seen how crazed she was becoming. Then again, she probably would have given Meredith the benefit of the doubt like he had.

"It's okay, Vhenan," She said, leaning in towards him, "you did all you could do."

"But even that wasn't enough." He sighed.

"Cullen, sometimes that's all we can do." She replied. "No one knew she'd tear up the city like she had."

"Hawke knew." He said quietly. "Everyone but the Templars and mages knew." Again, he was quiet. Itylra continued to try and comfort him as best she could. After a few minutes, he relaxed his muscles and looked groggy.

"Vhenan, let's go back to sleep." She urged.

She helped him to his feet and led him towards the bed. They both got comfortable as they adusted themselves. Itylra rolled towards Cullen, snuggling up against him as he wrapped his arms around her. They sighed contently as they took one last yawn before drifting off.

About several hours later when the sun rose, Itylra awoke to see Cullen wasn't next to her. She yawned and stretched before rolling off the bed and onto her feet. She quickly got dressed, well as fast as she could, before climbing down the latter towards Cullen's office. She turned to say something to him but found the room empty. She looked to see the door on her right was open and walked towards it to see the Commander leaning against the stone and looking out towards the Frostbacks.

"Morning." She said, smiling as he jumped slightly.

"Morning." He replied, straightening himself from the minor scare she made. Cullen leaned his head on her's as she leaned against him. "Thanks for last night."

"Anytime." She said.


End file.
